Poker, and a Whole Bunch of Toys in Space

Okay, let's face it. Early Star Trek is frickin' serious. There are profound ethical considerations in every single episode, and I've been focusing on writing those. But other things are going on too--the franchise has no idea yet how to really deal with the fact that the characters are supposed to be in outer space. We haven't seen any intersting wonko wonko aliens yet. Uhuru sings weird almost voodoo magic type song every once in a while. And special effects have barely even gotten off the ground yet. So, for this episode, I'm going to focus in on the ridiculousness of some of what's going on.

TOS: Episode 10: The Carbomite Maneuver

0:03 Oh. holy hell that ship looks like a toy.
0:16 Spock really is hot every single time.
0:20 Do they really think those sounds actually make the ship sound like sophisticated futuristic tecnnology? A friend of mine takes voice boxes out of second hand stuffed animals and inserts them into other animals that didn't previously have noise making abilities. She'd be psyched to get an animal that made a sound like that.
0:39 oh! new litenant here. bet he's going to die. Kirk isn't on the bridge yet.
0:53 Sulu seems to have a role in this episode. Maybe they'll try to force him to interact with girls in his awkward not-really-flirting sort of way again?

1:20 CUBE IN SPACE! (seriously!) CUBE IN SPACE! the mystery they're facing this episode is A CUBE IN SPACE!
1:40 Spock: Steer a course around it, Mister Sulu (notice: Sulu has no first name.)

CUBE IN SPACE! CUBE IN SPACE!

2:20 The new Lt: (yelling) "It's blocking the way!" Spock: "Quite unnecessary to raise your voice, Mister Bailey. All engines full stop. Sound the alert." Sulu announces: (calmly) "All decks, alert. Captain Kirk to the Bridge."

3:33 oh. There's the toy ship again, this time hovering in space next to THE CUBE IN SPACE.
3:46 oh yeah. Kirk without a shirt and covered in sweat grunting like you wouldn't believe, all for the sake of a medical exam. I wonder how many people actually fantasized about him because of this.

4:45 Spock: "take a look at this Kirk" CUBE IN SPACE! OH MY GOD! CUBE IN SPACE

5:15 WHAT AM I A DOCTOR OR A MOON SHUTTLE!? (the first time in Star Trek history we hear McCoy shout out this famously formed response to Kirk)

5:30 Kirk is now walking around the ship without his shirt on and with all kinds of shiny shiny sweat.

6:00 Spock suggests the new Lt. have his adrenaline gland removed.

6:58 CUBE IN SPACE! CUBE IN SPACE!

7:13 Cube in space is solid, but it's composition is unknown. It also does not communicate in response to the Enterprise hails.

7:44 Scotty's analysis: "Beats me! That's a solid cube!"

7:50 Oops. Mr. Bailey doesn't understand his job. He speaks out of turn, advising Kirk to blast the cube. "I'll keep that in mind, Mr. Bailey, when this becomes a democracy." Kirk responds. Again, Kirk is absolutely in charge.

9:40 CUBE IN SPACE! CUBE IN SPACE!

10:28 CUBE IN SPACE! CUBE IN SPACE! (the Lt. freaking out)

10:58 CUBE IN SPACE GETTING CLOSER! (the Lt. can barely handle it. Kirk, of course, intensely calm, and dressed now.)

12:18 lt. about to completely lose control. FIRING ON THE CUBE IN SPACE. SHAKE UP ON THE ENTERPRISE. Lt. out of his mind and falling sideways as the ship shakes.
12:50 The cube has been destroyed. Do they continue on in space? Or, do they run back to familiar territories? I wonder what Kirk will decide.

14:00 Kirk admits he needs Spock's logical abilities to encourage his own emotional security. Kirk chastizes the Lt.

15:24 McCoy always with the booze (though this is the first time we've seen him drink in the Star Trek universe, actually)

16:54 Kirk announces (after 10 episodes) that he has a problem with having a female yeoman. This is the first time he's made such a comment

17:33 The Enterprise is picking up another object in space.

SPHERE IN SPACE! SPHERE IN SPACE!

18:08 Somethings grabbed the Enterprise. SPHERE IN SPACE! OH MY GOD! SPHERE IN SPACE!!!
18:35 The sphere in space is pissed, and huge.

19:01 Lt. freaking out, can't do his job.
19:52 SPHERE IN SPACE TALKS, and is pissed, and accusing the Enterprise of being primitive.

21:47 Sphere announces it will destroy the Enterprise. "We assume you have a diety, or dieties, or some power that comforts you. We therefore grant you ten earth time units, also known as minutes, to make preparations."

22:56 Kirk announces to the ship entirely that there is no such thing as the unknown, only things that are not known temporarily. This is his attempt to comfort the crew as a whole since the crew believes it will be killed by THE SPHERE. Nice job, Kirk. Surely discussing the metaphysics of the universe is the first best response to facing your own death.

The alien on board the Sphere in Space

24:14 THE SPHERE HAS A FACE. OUR FIRST ALIEN. It looks like a toy too.

25:02 Oh dear. The Lt. is losing his shit.

29:18 Kirk has decided to play poker with the sphere in space. Sure, that makes sense.
29:55 Ah. Kirk is bluffing, saying that attack on the Enterprise will insure destruction of the attacking vessel, then explains that death means nothing to them, so attack now.

33:28 The sphere does not destroy the Enterprise. Spock expresses interest in learning poker. McCoy offers to teach it to him.

34:00 The alien calls Jim's bluff. The sphere is departing and a bunch of blinking lights appear in its stead to guide the Enterprise to a planet where the crew will be planted, and the ship destroyed.

38:19 BLINKING LIGHTS IN SPACE! BLINKING LIGHTS IN SPACE!

41:15 THE ENTERPRISE IS ON THE BRINK OF DESTRUCTION! EVERYONE RUN TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SET AND FALL OVER! good. good. that's what a shaking ship looks like.
41:45 Scotty announces the engines need work badly.

42:16 The Enterprise discovers it's threatened the life sustaining abilities of the blinking lights in space. So, Kirk announces they're going to resk the alien from the blinking lights. Very noble.

43:39 Kirk takes the Lt. with him to SEE THE FACE OF THE UNKNOWN (the alien).

44:30 Kirk, McCoy, and the Lt beam aboard THE BLINKING LIGHTS IN SPACE. Everything is really short so they have to walk hunked over.

45:08 Boy that alien looks like a fake. Oh. Cause it is. What we thought was the alien was really a dummy. The real alien is actually a child-sized humanoid. Brilliant.

46:03 More booze. The child gets them all to drink alien booze. The child alien, by the way, is being played by Ron Howard's brother, whose name I can't remember.

47:45 Turns out the whole thing was a test. The alien just wanted to find out the humans true intentions. The Lt. now is going to offer himself to stay with the alien as a way of exchanging information between the two cultures.