Star Trek: The Trouble with Tribbles: aka., Boy, These Mid-2nd Season Episodes Sure Are About Excessive Eating

TOS: Episode 44: The Trouble With Tribbles

Our episode begins with Spock offering us a clear coaching as to what counts as a joke, thank god. Comments about scents traveling through space do not count. I repeat do NOT count. There is a vacuum in space, you know. That means no air. That means the idea of scents traveling is illogical. I repeat, illogical!

Interestingly enough, we also get a much thicker "Russian" accent from Chekov, and a lot of Scotty air time. Sulu is absent from this episode, as a result of his filming The Green Berets, so we've got to rely on our other not-just-American character actors instead.

Just as Kirk and Spock are chastising Chekov for his poor recollection of the Klingon-Star Fleet encounters in the quadrant they are traveling within, a high level distress call is heard from the Space Station K7, the very location the Enterprise is on its way to. The distress call is of the highest level, reflecting the threat of absolute disaster. The crew rushes to their destination at battle station readiness expecting absolute space war.

Arriving at the Space Station, it turns out there is no such thing as war. Instead, there is a radically arrogant Under Secretary of Agriculture demanding that the entire Enterprise crew be at the beck-and-call of this head of agriculture for the sake of protecting high yield grain, the only grain, in fact, that will grow on a planet the Under Secretary hopes to develop.

The point though, as we know, is that Kirk will be at the beck-and-call of no one. He's a self determining sort of fella. But, as it turns out, Star Fleet believes in the necessity of developing this planet too, and as a result, the grain must be protected. Kirk is utterly put out. In the meantime, he approves shore leave for much of the Enterprise crew (though then is quickly forced to rescind that approval when Klingon's approach the space station posing a very serious space war threat afterall. Klingons are our super super bad bad dudes of space at this point in Star Trek history, you'll remember.). In the midst of trying to fulfill her desire to shop as part of shore leave, Uhura encounters a hairy little purring animal that she decides she adores. And so our episode, "The Trouble with Tribbles" begins.

Episode Summary
Okay, look. This is the most over-celebrated, horribly written, highly watched episode in the entirety of the Star Trek universe. The truth is, I can barely bear to watch it. So, that being said, let me, for this one post, pretend I'm ten-years old too, and post a review as I would if I were only ten.

The Pretending-to-be-Ten-Years-Old Episode Summary

Kirk, just when he thinks he's gonna lose, but if Kirk has it hard it always means he's gonna win real real big.
So, Kirk, just when he's gonna win real real big.

Kirk is angry. Super angry. And then he's told what to do anyway. But he won't do it. He knows better. But he has to. So he will. But we know Kirk always wins. So it'll turn out he wins somehow, and he'll win good since he suffered.

Uhura makes a mistake. She likes a cute little woo woo fuzzy fuzzy purring purring thing. Oh so cute! Oh so cute! she says. But that thing eats everything. Boy does it eat.

And then the guy that made Kirk mad loses all his good stuff grain cause the fuzzy thing eats it. But it turns out the good stuff was poisoned anyway cause the Klingons wanted to hurt everybody cause we're supposed to think Klingons are bad. I think we just haven't taken the time to understand them. Klingons are just like you and me. Just like when we're cranky.

So, the fuzzy things take over cause they ate too much. But then when you think it's gonna go bad the fuzzy things die. Oh they were cute. But they die. And so Kirk wins. Cause the fuzzy things die. But they ate the bossy man's grain, and he'd been bossing Kirk. And the Klingons are to blame so Kirk doesn't get in trouble but the bossy man gets what Kirk would give him if he could anyway. So Kirk wins. TA DA!

The end!

Episode History
It turns out "The Trouble with Tribbles" was actually written by a more-or-less random college student that simply enjoyed the show and decided to try his hand at television story lines. He apparently submitted five episode ideas to the Star Trek crew, and his plot suggestion "The Fuzzies" was purchased for production.

The premise of the show was originally meant to serve as political commentary for the idea of introducing new species into an environment in which they have no natural predators. In other words, the show was meant to remind us that even adorable things can be quite dangerous, with the crop damage induced by rabbits in Australia as its inspiration.

David Gerrod, the writer of "The Fuzzies" also went on to have a small part in the original Star Trek: The Motion Picture.

In this episode there are also two moments when you can see an unusual physical characteristic of our beloved Scotty. It turns out the actor James Doohan served during the Second World War for the Royal Canadian Artillery. Incredibly, Doohan experienced his first military combat in the Normandy Invasion on D-Day. He managed to lead his men to higher ground, saving most of their lives, and moving them safely through a live mine field where Doohan himself killed two snipers that had been firing on the allied forces. In the process, however, he was hit by over six rounds, with bullets rushing through his legs, his right middle finger, and hitting him in the chest. Miraculously, the bullet to the chest was stopped by a silver cigarette case over his heart. (Honestly, in cases such as this, thank god for smoking.) His right middle finger had to be amputated there on the field. Though Doohan concealed his four-fingered hand during his acting career, there are a few scenes in Star Trek history when the injury shows. Two such scenes occur within Episode 44; as Scotty throws a punch in the middle of a bar fight scene, and then later when Scotty carries a huge load of tribbles into the Enterprise lounge. Later, in The Search for Spock the missing finger shows itself again as Scotty hands parts for the U.S.S. Excelsior to McCoy.

Doohan's four fingered hand shows in the cement outside The Disney Amphitheatre at the Walt Disney World Hollywood Theme Park

As a further, pro-Scotty sidenote, his links to Star Trek include him having previously starred in a Bonanza episode with Majel Barrett, the woman that would go on to be cast as Nurse Chapel (only after serving as the First Officer in the original pilor), the nurse that dearly loves our Spock, and the future wife of Gene Roddenberry.

Though Doohan grew up in Canada, he earned his role as our beloved Scottsman on Star Trek by showcasing his ability to play different voices. He apparently offered Roddenberry a variety of accents, but the two decided on a Scottish character together. Later, in the Animated Series, Roddenberry took advantage of Doohan's voice abilities and cast him in multiple "guest starring" voice roles for the series.

Star Trek: Wolf in the Fold; aka They Belly Dance in Space Too, Don't They?

TOS: Episode 43: Wolf in the Fold

Our episode begins with a belly dancer that showcases remarkably moveable breasts, a lot of skin, and a bunch of plastic tiki-style attire. What the heck? It turns out belly dancing in space includes a mix of Middle Eastern and Hawaiian attire merged together as, what Bones calls, "a completely hedonistic society."

As if this isn't unfortunate enough, Scotty has a serious fascination with our magically breasted woman, as do both Bones and Kirk. Kirk, however, has invited our dancer over for the enjoyment of "her good company" specifically because Scotty likes her so much. Unfortunately, Kirk's pimp-tastic behavior has seriously pissed off not only a cape-wearing mystery man inside the same bar, but also another man wearing a costume remarkably like that of the drum clashing dancing monkey so common to Hollywood's version of the classic Middle Eastern movie of this same time period, the late 1960's.

Our Dancer

Episode Summary
Using the dry-ice low-hovering fog of the planet as an allurement, Scotty convinces our dancer to go for a walk with him in the night. Immediately following his departure, Kirk and McCoy erupt into hedonistic masculine giggles about how their work is never done--leading his men to their fulfillment, and delivering and then fulfilling prescriptions of pleasure, respectively. Yes, the episode really does open just so baldly.

Having fulfilled their duties in helping Scotty "hook up", our captain and doctor are now free to explore "a place on the other side of town where the women are just so...." We never hear explicitly what the women actually are.

In the midst of their movement to the other side of town, our officers hear a woman scream. Rushing to investigate, they discover the dancer dead, stabbed a dozen times, and a short distance away Scotty is holding a knife. Now, Scotty is a suspect in a murder investigation. Strangely, Scotty doesn't remember a thing beyond leaving the bar with his "bonny lass." Additionally, Scotty has a large bump on his head, accompanied by a concusion.

We meet, now, the lead police authority of the planet. He has the highest legal authority on the planet, excluding the government official, who holds final say in all matters. These two, then, represent the leaders of the planet. In ask about local legal procedures, our ship's officers discover that (1) "the law of the planet is love", and also (2) that the planet used to rely on empathic powers to determine the truth of the situation in the midst of crimes, though such crimes are now rare in this place. In fact, the planet residents, we discover, can be regarded as sheep, devoid of extreme emotions, and rich is soft cuddly feeling for each other.

The government official tells us his wife has these empathic powers long ago relied on, and states that she will perform an investigation. Immediately the legal authority protests, but the official is firm on the matter. Kirk and McCoy agree to the empathic investigation, but only after also offering to use too their psychotricorder from on board the Enterprise. We've never heard of a psychotricorder before, but it turns out that such equipment has the capacity to fully read the memory of anyone examined with it, as long as privacy is actually maintained. Remarkable!

In the midst of preparing to investigate, the female technician sent down from the Enterprise with the psychotricorder is found dead, stabbed to death, just as the dancer. Rushing to answer a scream, McCoy and Kirk again discover Scotty completely unconscious in the room alone with the murder victim. The privacy demanded in the situation serves well for hiding the source of the crime, and for making it appear that Scotty must be the main suspect.

Now, with two murders, and Scotty as the only clear suspect, a deeper investigation is taking place. To investigate using the empathic powers of the official's wife, a seance occurs. The wife of the planet's leader goes into trance and shouts that evil evil is in the room, a woman hating evil that will never die. (Oh no! Surely patriarchy has some shelf life? Please lord, please?) Then, suddenly, in the midst of her pronouncements of evil evil evil in the room, the light goes dark, and a scream is heard. When the lights come up again, the empathic woman too has been stabbed, and her blood is found on Scotty.

Now even Kirk must accept that the evidence strongly points to Scotty, though we know Scotty has too much Scottish tranquility to actually murder anyone. Kirk, and McCoy convince the leaders of the planet to beam the suspects of the case (the two men from the bar with their odd costumes are now included as suspects, simply by having been in the bar that night), as well as the investigators, and our crew, onto the Enterprise. It turns out, there on the ship, is a machine that can without a doubt read the entirety of a person's memory.

In the midst of investigation, the machine continually confirms Scotty's truth telling as he confesses to the facts he recalls. In the midst of questioning Scotty also confirms that there was something ghostly in the room that he felt between him and the murdered woman. In response to this, the planet's lead legal enforcement shouts repeatedly about the absurdity of the suggestion, and his doubt that the Enterprise machine could really be accurate, though the machine continually confirms that Scotty is telling the truth. Ghostly figures accurately presented? Yes! Scotty's innocence, it would seem, hangs on proving the reality of a ghost. Strange.

The investigation continues, with the second suspect now being questioned. It turns out this suspect, the caped man, had been engaged to marry the dancer from the beginning of the show, and the monkey dressed man was her father. In the midst of questioning of the previously-caped suspect, we discover that though they were engaged, the dancer did not love him, and he, therefore was jealous of her. The planet's leader is horrified. Jealousy is no emotion fit for sheep. Spock and Kirk together begin to think through the evidence, utilizing too the information shouted during the seance.

Profoundly, in the midst of the study by our officers of the evidence, with the help of the computer, they realize that words that occurred in the midst of the seance actually translate to the English name "Jack the Ripper." They realize too that all the evidence involved in the case actually points to the existence of an energy-based mass, mass murderer of women that feeds on death and fear, and is able to assume physical form but then also take gaseous form. My god! The ghostly figure Scotty encountered then could be real! In the midst of the investigation, the planet's legal authority continually throws fits over the apparent absurdity of the idea that a Jack the Ripper phantom that oscillates between physical and gaseous form could be to blame rather than Scotty. Honestly, who could blame him for doubting the idea? It does seem surprising that our murderer could be an alien ghost. But, the wonders of space may never cease.

Eyeing the fits of our legal authority, Spock clearly begins to suspect his odd behavior. But, unfortunately, we then immediately after receive our first blight on Spock's character. He announces that he suspects the Ripper phantom attacks women because it feeds on fear, and women are more prone to terror then are men, they being weaker in emotional constitution than men are. Oh Spock! Do you really believe such things? I realize all the women you encounter wear dresses so short we can see their bum, and shoes so tall they're probably really are more afraid all the time than the men surrounding them --afraid of falling on their heels, and flashing their bum, that is. But, still. I've been holding you as an example of the potential goodness that can be found to love. Socio-political beliefs are part of the balance that it takes to find goodness in another. Please, don't make me doubt you.

We might grant Spock escape from such universalizing comments by assuming his remark has social dimensions, rather than him making a claim about anything like "the natural state" of women. If we allow for this, then Spock is a creature of his time, which we must admit, is the late 1960's U.S.A. on planet earth, not the future of outer space. With this in mind, we may maintain our true love for him, even as we are disappointed. Oh dear Spock. Please, be strong. Do not let the poor influences of your social situation ruin your high moral standards. We need you.

Back to the episode... Holy dear lord god, Star Trek! Our alien presence this time isn't just different from us humans, it's verging on paranormal. It turns out, then, that Star Fleet would have us understand that all things can be explained. What we may take to be unexplained, or even unexplainable, phenomenon need not be ruled out as heresay, but instead might be understood as alien creatures we just don't readily encounter. Our ghost stories, then, might be generated by encounters with alien life forms we simply don't have the scientific means to explain.

The crew begins to question the computer regarding patterns of mass murders of women throughout the galaxy and realize that there is a history of mass murders that follow a clear line between Earth, and our episode's planet. They discover too that the last recorded murders occurred on the planet the legal authority supposedly originated from. In the midst of questioning the legal authority, then, now the main suspect, his body collapses, immediately dead, and we discover the Jack the Ripper phantom has escaped from controlling the body, and taken flown into the ship's computer, thereby taking control of the entire Enterprise. That's right, we have a murderous phantom at loose in the ship trying to instill fear and terror through out the crew.

The Jack the Ripper Phantom ReAnimating the Body of the Planet's Legal Authority and Feeding Off a Female Crew Member's Fear

Kirk, McCoy and Spock administer giddy-producing tranquilizers to the entire ship's population, thus avoiding the potential production of fear or terror entirely. Spock then instructs the ship's computer to work on the number pi, thus immobilizing the phantom's ability to utilize the ship, since the computer is otherwise engaged. As a result, the phantom rushes out of the computer, and is able to reanimate the dead body of the planet's legal authority. Quickly, Kirk and Spock tranquilize the body, and then beam it out into space with the widest possible dispersal. Spock then explains that the phantom's consciousness may continue to exist in separate tiny molecules of thought spread all over space, but it will die eventually.

To close our episode Kirk, McCoy, Scotty, and Spock all beam down together to the planet in order to investigate that cafe where all the women are so... so... so.... Again, we never do hear exactly what they are. But it is clear, that thanks to their giddy producing tranquilizers the men of our crew are able to quickly forget the horror instilled in women of the episode and go back to thinking of women as for their pleasure, rather than in need of their protection.

How To Have a Star Trek Valentine's Day

Following are my suggestions for what to do for a good quality Star Trek Valentine's Day, with a little help from Etsy.

1. Carve the name of your true love (yourself) into a tree, and commemorate the action on a t-shirt:

Available from peanutbutterandjelly on Etsy

2. Document your allegiance on all love notes:

Available from Nerd Notes on Etsy

Available from Nerd Notes on Etsy

3. Play Dress Up:

Available from Panda Sewing Boutique on Etsy

4. Freely declare your feelings:

Available from knitoramaa on Etsy

Available from paintnpatches on Etsy

5. And finally, snuggle up with your Sweet Little Love Monkey:

Available from Siren's Cove on Etsy

Clouds, Guilt, and Evil Evil Sentient Vapor

TOS: Episode 42: Obsession

The episode "Obsession" opens with an impressively fake looking shimmery rock set. Spock, Kirk, and three never-before-seen red shirts are on the planet surface in order to confirm the presence of this clearly staged rock. In the midst of the examination Kirk reveals seeing it there is incredible. The rock, we discover, is 21.5 times as hard as diamond.

Shortly after Kirk calls up to Scotty on the Enterprise to relay the findings, a mysterious vapor begins to appear out the backside of the rock. From their perspective Kirk and Spock are unable to see the activity. Strangely, the vapor appears to direct itself, and in fact, towards our away team. Spock uses his phaser to break off a rock sample, and immediately the vapor retracts itself into the back side of the rock. Then, even more surprisingly, just as Kirk picks up the specimen and hands it to Kirk, he starts rapsing poetic about the smell of honey ... on... a ... dis... tant ... planet ... so ... many years... ago.

And so, with this episode we are introduced, finally, to one of the classic speaking behaviors of Captain Kirk often made fun of in imitations of his character, and even by the actor William Shatner himself. That is, his tendency to use extended speech with pauses between each or every couple words. The episode "Obsession" lets us experience it for the first time in Star Trek history.

Episode Summary
Somehow Kirk has sensed the presence of the strange cloud that we viewers saw before, even though he had not seen it himself. It turns out Kirk recognizes the presence of the cloud through its smell. The smell he senses, we discover, is a gaseous substance that has only ever been found through controlled laboratory experiments. The sensors, then, begin to also detect the same gaseous substance, but the sensors also find that it disappears just as people record it too. It would seem that this cloud is aware of its surroundings, and can control its very molecular structure.

In the midst of searching the planet on their own and scanning for the cloud, it appears and surrounds the red-shirts. They begin to choke and collapse. One of them manages to radio to Captain Kirk before being consumed entirely. Running to them, Kirk and Spock discover two of the away team members already dead. The one that had made contact with them is still partially alive.

It turns out Kirk has encountered this lethal cloud before. His earlier mention of its smell was actually him recalling a still unrevealed prior encounter with the noxious cloud. Without Spock even having to examine their bodies, Kirk tells him all the red corpusles will be gone. Spock asks, "What is it, Captain?" And Kirk's stuttering... be...tween ... each word... voice... returns. He dramatically, and with elaborate pausing, tells us, "Something that shouldn't exist, but it does."
My god! A sentient vapor that can suck the red blood cells right out of your body, and attack before you even sense its presence. The horror in this episode is truly great!

The Evil, Evil, Truly Evil, Captain-Kirk-Speech-Pause Inducing Cloud

McCoy is confounded by the seemingly impossible death of the two men. Doesn't he realize by now (the middle of season 2) that whenever a never before seen red shirted crew member travels in away team to a new planet surface they simply die? Surely by now he's aware of the rules of his own universe! But, no. He is confused. His confusion causes Kirk to inform him that McCoy should examine the materials available in previously occurring similar deaths 11-years ago on the U.S.S. Farogat. (Note: this is the ship Spock had originally assigned Uhura to in the recent Star Trek movie before she demanded to be reposted to the Flagship Enterprise.) McCoy appears shocked, and skeptical of Kirk's information. It would seem that Kirk providing such information makes him suspicious somehow.

To add to the now suspicious behavior of Kirk, he goes on to demand that the unconscious ensign that had been injured on the planet surface be awakened. Kirk questions him immediately after arousal. He wants to hear what happened during the attack on the planet surface. It turns out all Kirk wants to know is if the ensign had smelled honey (the smell Kirk associated with the cloud on the planet surface), and whether or not he sensed an intelligent presence. In the midst of discussion the ensign again falls into sleep, and shortly after dies.

Kirk then goes on to discuss the situation with Spock. Spock's scans of the planet surface show no evidence of any life (intelligent) forms. Through discussion Kirk begins to believe that the thing they are searching for can actually change its substance so that its very molecular structure can change. Though we'd seen evidence of this when the security personnel were attacked, Kirk and Spock were not exposed to the information.

A new security member enters the bridge, and we discover that he is the son of someone Kirk had known before. Further, he is friends with the ensign who has just died in sick bay. Kirk takes advantage of the situation to challenge the security personnel to accompany him to the surface. There the cloud appears and again successfully attacks two of the officers that had gone on the away team. Again, they are men we had not seen before. The new security officer, however, has survived.

Shocked by the events the away team returns to the Enterprise. There we discover through Kirk's voice over that 11-years ago the U.S.S. Farogat was decimated by an unidentified creature, which he thinks is identical to the cloud they are now investigating. He believes too that Spock and McCoy are doubtful of the suggestion, and also of Kirk's decision to remain behind on the planet. On the ship Spock and McCoy question the new security officer. In the midst of the questioning, Kirk becomes quite upset and it is discovered that the new security officer had hesitated in the midst of confrontation with the cloud. Kirk is clearly upset and so relieves the man of all duties, and also confines him to quarters. Then he demands that the ship will remain in orbit further. The crew begins to wonder about Kirk's strange behaviors. He is clearly obsessed, just as the episode name suggests.

Spock turns to McCoy to discuss his findings from the tapes for the USS Farogat. It turns out the entire crew, including the captain, were killed on a mission that included only one surviving member -- an ensign on his first deep space mission. The captain, we discover, was the father of the security team member now confined to his quarters, and the surviving ensign is our own James T. Kirk. After the discussion, McCoy turns to Kirk, who is clearly troubled over his experiences from 11-years ago. We discover that Kirk believes the cloud is evil and must be destroyed, and that he could have actually killed it had he not delayed in his first encounter with it 11-years ago. In other words, Kirk takes himself to be responsible for the death of the Farogat crew, and the survival of the creature now 11-years later.

We see here, then, Kirk in a kind of human weakness not yet shown through the series. His behavior is actually threatening his command post. Spock and Kirk are beginning to suspect he is unfit to lead the ship. In being questioned Kirk calms himself, and again attempts to convince Spock and McCoy of the situation -- the situation, in Kirk's mind, is that if this is the same creature as what killed the Farogat crew 11 years ago, then it poses a grave threat to the entire galaxy. Spock and McCoy doubt the presence of the cloud, but believe that Kirk is still reasonable. Then immediately after the discussion, Chekov announces that a gaseous cloud has left the planet, and in fact that it matches the descriptions Kirk has given for the 11-year old cloud. However, the vapor is now on the loose, traveling at high speeds across the galaxy.

ALERT! ALERT! A LETHAL, EVIL, AND SENTIENT GASEOUS CLOUD IS ON THE LOOSE!!

The Enterprise chases after the gaseous cloud with Kirk intent on trying to kill it. In the midst of pursuit, the cloud stops. The Enterprise faces it and begins to fire phasers. The phasers, however, prove ineffective. We discover, actually, that none of the weapons easily used by the Enterprise will kill the cloud. In the midst of attack, the vapor successfully enters the ship, and crewmen begin to die.

As a result of battle, however, Spock becomes convinced that the cloud truly is sentient. Spock goes, then, to the security officers room to inform him of the situation, and to work to convince him that there was nothing further he could have done on the planet to stop the cloud that attacked the other crew members. In the midst of the conversation, however, the cloud enters through the room ventilation, and, quickly, Spock shoves the security officer out of the room, thereby saving his life. It appears that our beloved Spock will die, but we discover that Spock's blood is based on copper, and it has been the iron in human blood that the creature has gone after. Further, the copper of Spock's blood would also explain why McCoy is always calling Spock "green blooded."

In the midst of the extended encounter, Kirk comes to realize that their traditional weapons are simply ineffective against the creature. He then makes sure to convince the security officer of the same thing in order to relieve him of any guilt he may feel over the other crew members being killed by the cloud. In so doing he reveals that he also knows now that his own action couldn't have saved the Farogat 11-years ago. Now, he also somehow understands that he must return to the planet on which the Farogat had been attacked originally. There they will attempt to destroy the creature by luring it with human hemoglobin, and then attacking it with anti-matter. It is an outrageously dangerous plan, however. The security officer that lost his father to the attack on the Farogat, and Kirk volunteer themselves to detonate the attack. But, in the midst of setting up the trap for the cloud, they find themselves under extreme circumstances as the vapor approaches them for their iron-laden blood, instead of the hemoglobin. They manage to beam out just as the anti-matter detonates around the creature.

We know now that the creature has been killed, but what of our brave men? Unfortunately, the transporter has difficulty operating within the anti-matter explosion shockwaves and it quickly begins to look like Kirk and the brave security officer may not make it back to the ship. McCoy takes the occasion to complain about human molecules being spread all over the universe, and then, finally the men arrive through the transportation device.

Ah, relief. The evil, sentient, gaseous cloud monster has been destroyed. Kirk has recovered from the guilt he's carried for 11 whole years, and as a result, he is now also able to befriend the son of his former mentor--the Captain that died while leading the Farogat.

Klingon Linguistic Epiphany

Kaplah! (Klingon for "Success!" or "Eureka!")


An anonymous friend had the above gift sent to me via U.S. Post--The Klingon Dictionary, complete with not only translation but also linguistic structure of the Klingon language. My goodness! When we hit those episodes where Klingons start finally making more regular appearance, or, even more especially the early Star Trek movies, we'll be amply ready for incorporating Klingon into our posts.

Buy' ngop! (Klingon for "that's great news!")

The 10 Year Old Perspective: Rapping Out the Deadly Years

TOS: Episode 41: The Deadly Years

Imagine this as a rap song:

Captain Kirk gets old and that's no lie.
So does McCoy, but it doesn't make us cry.

Everybody's fine in the end.
A few people died, but not everybody's dead.

Bum bum boof ba too too too phuu boo
(this is the beat boxing section)

That is all for today, but we'll be back ready to play.
Word.

Peace.

Old Man Syndrome, Avoiding Love, and the Difficulty of Letting Down Captain James T. Kirk

TOS: Episode 41: The Deadly Years

Our new episode opens on a remarkably purple and orange planet, with Spock, Kirk, McCoy, Scotty, Chekov and some never before seen woman serving as an away team visiting a planet meant to be inhabited by Star Fleet personnel living as colony members. When they arrive, surprisingly, no one is around to greet them. The crew is suprised, and Kirk sends them off in search of members of the colony. Chekov enters a building and instead finds a kind of visitation shrine for a very aged, dead body. Shocked, and screaming, he calls in the rest of the team. Soon after, two almost-infirm, and very old-looking colony members enter. Soon after revealing they can barely hear, the colony members also reveal they are only 28 and 29. The colony members are all either dead or dying of old age.

How could the colony members have aged so quickly? Why are all of the ship crew with the ability to actually lead the ship continually serving as away team members in the midst of crucial missions, thereby leaving the most prominant galaxy class starship in Star Fleet, the Enterprise, ineffectively manned? Who is at the con? Will Kirk find some way to rip his shirt off when the episode theme seems to have no such need? These are the questions facing the star ship Enterprise on her crucial mission to seek out new life.

Kirk slowly aging, and struggling with facing mortality.

Episode Summary
Shortly after returning to the ship, we discover Kirk is facing a past love in this episode. Their jobs kept them apart. While she does some sort of lab-type research, he is a star ship captain. Their lives were incompatible, and so they called off their romance. In the midst of reconciling, Kirk is called away to the bridge. Oh! What a re-enactment of their earlier romance.

Returning to the bridge, we discover that Kirk is repeating himself, and the unnamed woman from the away team is having trouble hearing. Strange! My god! The crew is already suffering the symptoms of older age. In the middle of our facing this horror, Kirk manages to take his shirt off for us, but in doing so he seems to throw out his back, thereby revealing further symptoms of aging. The entire away team, in fact, except for Chekov, seems to be suffering aging--achy joints, graying hair, reduced hearing, imbalanced metabolism. The drinking of prune juice doesn't seem to be an issue. But poor Scotty has had a heavy dose of graying powder adding to his hair and eyebrows.

Analysing the away team, McCoy realizes that the entire team seems to be aging 30 years for each day. Spock too is aging fast, but being Vulcan the symptoms are not showing his symptoms as quickly as the humans. The symptoms include not merely physical problems, but also reduction of mental faculties.

In the midst of his aging, the woman previously declared a love interest for Kirk stays around, clearly worried about her man. The previously unseen woman member of the away team, however, has devolved into an emotional wreck, and aged most quickly of all the people that had traveled to the planet surface.

The love interest for Kirk reveals that not only will she assist in solving the research needed for saving Kirk, she also still needs to express her love for Kirk, and to allow that they will solve their problem. Kirk, however, does not know how to accept his age in the midst of her amour. "What are you offering me? Love, or a going away present?" She is shocked, but Kirk walks away.

Have you noticed yet? There is not much plot driving this episode. Instead, the episode is all about watching our crucial crew members, most especially, face the reality associated with mortality, and reduced facilties. But further, the episode seems to be about Kirk illustrating his own inability to accept genuine, reciprocal romantic relationship.

Spock, the genius intellectual problem solver of the series, enters, finally, with the cause of the aging --a comet that had passed through the area released previously-undetectable radiation over the planet, to which the away team was exposed.

As time goes on, a commodor that has been in the background of the entire episode, approaches Spock to ask for assistance in relieving Kirk of command. He asks Spock to take control of the Enterprise, which Spock denies. The commodor then demands that the First Officer, Spock, must, according to regulations, convene a competency hearing regarding Kirk's ability to continue leading the Enterprise. Spock accepts that regulations demand he must comply, though he is not pleased about the situation.

Before the hearing, the unnamed woman that had been on the away team dies. McCoy realizes that her faster metabolism caused her to age, and thus die, more quickly than the other members. McCoy says, then, that they are all going to die in less than a few days, perhaps even in only hours. The hearing begins. In the midst of the hearing, Kirk throws fits, his love interest looks on, Sulu is strained for having to speak ill of his captain, Uhura too is pained for revealing that her captain had difficulties, and the woman crewmembers dress-like uniforms appear shorter than they did in the first season. In some cases, the lower curve of their behind is actually visible. Least plausibly, all of the medical personnel that could be researching a solution to the rapid aging are not researching possible solutions, but instead are present in the hearing. We also still don't know why Chekov is not aging.

In relieving Captain Kirk of duty, and with all senior officers rapidly aging, the commodore assumes command of the Enterprise, even though he has never before led a star ship. His first ruling is for Sulu to set a course across the Romulun neutral zone, thereby immediately threatening the safety of the entire ship. Commodore Stalker has never had a field command, and thereby does not really understand what amounts to reasonable leadership. Spock notifies Kirk of the situation, and Kirk shouts that Spock has betrayed him. Kirk's love interest, however, remains with Kirk, attempting to comfort him in her Pucci-esque patterned gown.

Finally, McCoy, Kirk, and Spock begin to realize that Chekov had experienced one crucial difference from the rest of them --he'd been intensely scared from seeing the dead body. Adrenaline would have coursed through his body. McCoy realizes the adrenaline must have saved Chekov from the effects of the radiation sickness. Spock, and an associate doctor get to work at developing an appropriate adrenalin compound.

In the meantime, the ship has entered the neutral zone, and is immediately attacked by Romulun's. Asking for instruction from the commodore, he quickly shows he has no idea what to do. Kirk must be tied down to keep him from rushing to the bridge. Spock walks in with rough concotion, telling them that it could "cure or kill." Kirk demands to take the first test shot, knowing that he will die soon anyway from age. Taking the shot is the only chance to save the ship. If he survives, he will be able to rush to the bridge and get them out of the horrible situation. The commodore is giving up, as the Romulun's threaten the very survival of the Enterprise. Suddenly, Kirk rushes in, his former youthful appearance restored, and quickly saves the ship. The commodore is stunned, impressed, and embarassed. The Enterprise escapes, and departs from the neutral zone.

McCoy rushes in, notifies them that Scotty too has recovered, and tells Spock the shot is ready for him. Kirk's loves interest walks in, and Kirk quickly hands over command to Sulu.

The 10 Year Old Perspective: The Baby Who Raised A Colony

TOS: Episode 40: Friday's Child

The Nice Woman

This episode was about how this nice woman had a kid who apparently somehow was McCoy's, which we never find out how, and the baby ends up like being a colony leader cause his dad died and so on and so forth. And that's pretty much it.

Rick-Rack, Babies and Doctor McCoy

TOS: Episode 40: Friday's Child

Combine faux fur, what we colloquially call "Chinese fighting stars", a "survival of the fittest" ethic, and a ton of brightly colored fabric and you've got the full complexity of the alien's from a planet Star Fleet hopes to mine. Negotiating with these aliens is sure to be risky, and in fact within the first three minutes of "Friday's Child" a never-before-seen red shirted crew member is hit in the chest with one of those fighting stars. Why? How? The innate racism as represented by relations with the Klingon empire caused the crew member to attempt fire on a Klingon agent that unexpectedly appeared on the planet.

McCoy making contact with his patient

Episode Summary
The episode begins aboard a planet that Star Fleet hopes to mine. However, a less advanced alien species resides upon the planet; a species that tends towards violence, and while quite hospitable towards guests, also prefers to do things on their own way, on their own.

The setting on the planet closely resembles that of typical Hollywood representations of nomadic West-Asian communities from the same time period. The people live in fabric draped wall tents, and follow a leader resembling that of a Khan. But they also wear clothing that closely resembles carpets, and fabric decorated with rick-rack.

Scotty, Chekov, and Sulu have been left in charge of the Enterprise, while Spock, Kirk, and McCoy negotiate with the Khan planetside. On the planet, a fight erupts as one faction wishes to side with the Klingons, and that of the Khan intends to side with Star Fleet. On board the Enterprise a ship is spotted, just as a distress call from what sounds like an earth vessel is also heard. The spotted ship would seem to be a Klingon ship attacking an earth freighter.

On the planet's surface the fight has resulted in the over through of the original Khan. We would expect that the new Khan would turn against Kirk, and also kill the pregnant wife of the former leader. But instead the new leader expresses his new found appreciation for Kirk's boldness. Just as the wife of the former leader would be killed, Kirk steps in to stop her murder. We discover, however, that planet custom states that no man may touch the wife of a leader, lest he be killed. Kirk, then, is threatened to death. The away teams' communicators and weapons have been taken away, and so they are both unable to contact the ship, or receive communication from the Enterprise either.

The Enterprise must respond to the distress call from the freighter, and so leave orbit of the planet, and thereby also leave the landing party. Being held prisoner, along with the wife of the former leader, the away team manages to escape from their security guards with the wife. They tell her they intend to bring her to their ship. She agrees she would rather live than simply follow her people's laws. Our crew has into the mountains, and gathered knives to defend themselves. Escaping into the mountains, the crew convinces the woman to undergo treatment for injuries she sustained in the fight over leadership. During the examination McCoy realizes that the woman could go into labor at any time. The woman realizes she appreciates physical contact in a way she couldn't have known before, she the laws forebade anyone touching her before.

While McCoy makes contact with the wife of the former leader, Kirk and Spock investigate the surrounding area for possibility of escape, and defense. The soldiers of the local area approach. Spock realizes he can produce a sound vibration to cause a rock slide on top of them, which of course he does. In the slide many of the local men, including the new leader are caught by collapsing rocks. The Klingon manages to leap out of the way, and then kills one of the local men stealing some sort of communicator, and also a weapon in the process. The rock slide succeeds at slowing the men down from finding our runaway crew, but they simply continue along a different route. Kirk knows they will find them eventually, and the woman is sure to give birth eventually. The woman needs help, but she allows only McCoy to touch her. They manage to bring her to a cave where she could more safely give birth.

Meantime, on board the Enterprise, the freighter has disappeared. It would seem the distress call was a ploy to get our ship away from its captain. Scotty realizes he must quickly return to help their captain.

Getting into the cave, the woman almost immediately begins to go into labor. She allows McCoy to touch her, while Spock and Kirk go out to try and find both weapons and water. In trying to help the woman give birth McCoy discovers that the woman does not want her child. She explains though it is because in her culture the child belongs to the husband. McCoy attempts to convince her that the child belongs to her, and that they will bring her to the Enterprise for help. She refuses, however, and instead promises the child to McCoy. McCoy attempts to convince her otherwise, while Kirk and Spock create bow and arrows from nearby trees. The child is born. The woman announces the baby is theirs--hers and McCoys.

The Enterprise rushes back to the planet in attempt to help our away team. Inside the cave, McCoy falls asleep, and the woman knocks him out with a rock then runs away. Woman's liberation? McCoy awakes to discover her gone with the child left behind. Now our crew expects that the woman will return to the warriors to warn them of the location of Kirk, Spock, and McCoy. Afterall, released of the former leader's baby, she is no longer any threat to the new leader. Kirk and Spock go after her, just as the Enterprise is intercepted by a Klingon warship.

The warriors approach the location of Kirk and Spock, but before intercepting "the Earth men" they are found by the woman who tells them that both the child and the Earth men are dead. As the wife of a leader she is allowed to demand the warriors to return. The warriors are going to return in honor of her word, but the Klingon runs ahead after Kirk and Spock so that Kirk must fire his arrow on him. The leader of the tribes, however, gives the woman back her life, rather than taking it as the law would demand. In doing so, he must give up his life. He does so so that the Klingon will attack him, thereby giving his people the chance to kill the Klingon. His plan succeeds. Both the Klingon and the leader are killed.

Scotty and his security detail arrive. McCoy returns the baby to the woman. Her baby is the new leader of the ten tribes. The woman, then, acts as the representative of the new leader, and the Enterprise crew succeeds at securing mining rights to the planet.

The episode ends with us discovering that the new leader (baby) of the tribes of the planet has been named Leonard James Ak-ma-Ar (after McCoy and Kirk).

The 10 Year Old Perspective: All's Well That Ends Well (Journey to Babel)

TOS: Episode 39: Journey to Babel

In a lot of ways, I find this show quite dramatic. And I also find it quite hard to understand in several ways. But then again I'm only ten.

Pig Nose Guy

Episode Summary
The show starts out with Vulcans coming to the Enterprise. The Ambassador of Vulcans and his wife come to the ship. Kirk tells Spock to show them around but the Ambassador says he wants a different guide. Kirk seems to be very suspicious about this so he says to Spock, "Spock, why don't you beam down to the planet to see your parents." So Spock replies, "Didn't you know the Ambassadors are my parents." And Kirk is like, "Ohhh!" So after Kirk has given the Vulcans a tour of the Enterprise, they go to the engine room, and Kirk tells Spock to show the Ambassador and his wife the computer technology. And the wife says, "After all these years of being around humans, you still haven't learned to smile." And Spock says, "Well, smiling is a human trait." And she says, "Well you are part human."

At kind of like a celebration party for a meeting of all the aliens getting together, the Ambassador, slash Spock's dad gets in a fight with some piggish figure that we never learn the name of. Many hours later the Ambassador of the pig figure thingees was found dead with his neck snapped like a twig. Spock says the way it was snapped was a Vulcan practice. That they used to use as a ritual to logically kill somebody. So then the only suspect would be Spock's dad. So they go to his room but he's not there and his wife says that he had been out meditating because he was about to retire. He comes back and he has an attack so they bring him to sick bay and he says he has been attacked three times before, two before they left Vulcan and one while he was meditating, and the last one in his room.

Much later in the episode, we find out that there is an alien that has a communication device that is hidden in his antenna and was communicating with the enemy ship. And they blow up the enemy ship but the other alien dies too because he had taken poison. Also, Spock gives up about a fourth of his blood or so for his dad, because his dad was dying. Spock and his dad were okay. But Kirk had also been attacked earlier and the only way for him to get Spock to help his dad was for him to convince Spock that he was okay, but then he did end up taking command instead of giving command down to Scotty, because it was too dangerous. But in the end he did end up having to be in the hospital, and it's strange because Dr. McCoy kept saying "Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shut up! Shut up!" to everybody like Spock, his dad, and Captain Kirk. Then at the end of the show Dr. McCoy said "Well, for once I get the last word." And that's where the show ended.

Snarling Teeth and False Horns

TOS: Episode 39: Journey to Babel

I'm positive that in some alternate universe I am Dr. McCoy. It's clear to me that had I followed through on my teenage plans to become a medical doctor I would have turned into Leonard, aka Bones--serving my duties in an area unlike what I am used to, cynical, cranky over formal affairs, and thoroughly attached to whiskey. Though of these characteristics, I am only cynical now, it is clear to me that under the right circumstances I would surely descend into the rest of these characteristics too.

Sarek, Kirk, Pig-Nose, Blue Horn, and Pig-Nose Two (the survivor)

Episode Summary
The most exciting addition arising from this episode is the introduction of Sarek, and his wife. That's right, we get to explore the character backdrop of our beloved Spock in "Journey to Babel." In doing so, we meet his parents, and discover the story of how Spock moved into Star Fleet, thereby distancing himself from his noble, and stubborn father.

You may recall that the actor that plays Sarek has been seen before, as a Romulan in "Balance of Terror" from season 1. We discover quite early in the episode that Sarek had retired as Ambassador, but took up his post again for the sake of the proceedings of this episode--the question of whether or not a new planet will join in Star Fleet.

While being versed in the tensions surrounding the possible addition of this strange new planet, we are also exposed to the familial tensions of Spock and Sarek. It has been 18 years since they last spoke. The result of Spock choosing Star Fleet against the wishes of his father. The disagreement, however, is not only because Spock chose not to remain on Vulcan studying in the Vulcan Science Academy, but also because Sarek disagrees with Star Fleet's practice of ever using violence.

We are exposed in this episode too to a greater degree of Sci-Fi makeup than we have yet seen in Star Trek history. There is the pig nosed alien, the horned blue skinned race, and the little golden species too. It's an exciting display of humonoid variations.

In the middle of the episode, our hosting vessel, the Enterprise, is suddenly confronted with the strange presence of an unauthorized ship in the area. While Kirk chases the vessel, a fight erupts between Sarek and the pig-nosed delegate over the vote about inclusion of the alien planet. Soon after resolution of the fight, we discover the pig-nosed ambassador murdered aboard the Enterprise. We know all too well that Sarek would never kill another, but of course recent events make it appear that Sarek must have. Ah! We have then a mystery.

In the midst of the investigation Spock willingly grants evidence that would make it appear his father was the murderer, while also using reason to show Sarek killing pig-nose would make no sense. (Just to be clear, I have a great fondness for pig noses, and so mean nothing slighting by continually referring to the now-dead Ambassador in such a manner. It just seems that as the episode is written it is the humanoid's nose is far more important than his name.)

Regarding character development, we see similarities, of course, between Sarek and Spock. They are both both stubborn, and mildly irreverent, which is interesting to see in Vulcan characters otherwise treated as without emotion.

Soon after the investigation of Sarek's culpability in the murder of little piggy, he collapses, apparently exhibiting cardiovascular difficulties. McCoy, however, has limited knowledge of Vulcan physiology, and so does not know if he will be able to save Sarek's life. It would appear that his health must be the reason for his previous retirement.

Returning to the mystery vessel, we discover that one of the guests aboard the Enterprise herself is in contact with the alien ship. A counsel of delegates from multiple planets are all guests aboard our Star Fleet vessel to travel to the proceedings regarding inclusion of the new planet.

Now, we have a multi-layer episode. Sarek has collapsed, and is in need of heart surgery, though McCoy has never operated on a Vulcan. Spock now must face attempting to save the father he has been estranged from for almost two decades. A murder has occurred placing Sarek as the most implicated, though still unlikely, suspect. An alien vessel is in proximity to our ship, and is communicating with someone aboard the Enterprise.

Spock offers himself, at threat to his own life, for the sake of his father's life. It would seem an illogical option, and yet it is also the only way to save the Ambassador in charge with conferring Star Fleet status to the alien planet. Shortly after hearing the threat to Spock's life, we witness an attack by the blue horned alien on our Captain Kirk. He succeeds in puncturing Kirk's lung with a knife, and Kirk collapses just as he contacts Spock for assistance. Now we have multiple lives at threat aboard the ship. With Kirk disposed, Spock is now unable to relinquish command of the Enterprise, even though his father needs immediate surgery.

Subscribing to the demands of logic, Spock continues his duties to the ship, threatening his duty to his family as a result. Ah stubborness. A fully human emotion within a Vulcan mind. At the urging of his mother, Spock admits to the conflict he feels between his two types of duty. His mother falls into emotional pleadings, to which Spock pulls out his consequentialist reasoning --how could he put the needs of only one person ahead of the possible results of interplanetary war, and the lives of hundreds of people aboard the ship. Finally, Spock's mother threatens hatred, and even slaps her son. Still, Spock asserts he cannot give up his duty to fulfilling Star Fleet regulations. We can see the torment within him, but still he stands strong.

Soon after Spock's encounter with his mother, Kirk wakes up and we witness the incredible pain that he is under. He discovers the situation though and fakes his way to the bridge convincing Spock that he is able to lead the ship. His plan is to call Scotty into leadership as soon as Spock enters the surgery. Just after Spock leaves, however, the alien vessel begins transmitting, and Kirk stays on the bridge, even at threat to his own life. Analysis of the transmission reveals that the same prisoner that had stabbed Kirk is the one that was also in contact with the alien vessel. The blue horned ambassador wasn't blue-horned at all. It turns out his horns were a fake for the sake of hiding transmission devices. In the midst of attack by the alien vessel, Kirk's health is decreasing, Sarek is undergoing surgery with Spock's life threatened too. The attack on the Enterprise shuts down the surgical devices, and Sarek's heart has stopped. Somehow Spock is conscious through teh entire surgery, and is troubled over the split between his duty to the ship, and his literal attachment to his father via green blooded transferring tubing.

We discover that the blue-horned humanoid was a spy all along, placed aboard the Enterprise in order to assist in destroying the ship. Kirk devises a plan to suck in the alien vessel within weapons range, and so hopefully save our Star Fleet vessel. His plan succeeds. Miraculously at exactly the same time, Sarek returns to heart health. The spy prisoner ingests poison, thereby killing himself, and Kirk passes command of the ship over to Scotty. We witness that both Spock and Sarek have survived their risky operation. According to McCoy, their stubborness saved them both. In the end, Spock and Sarek bond, finally, by making fun of their mother. Then, collapsing, Kirk and Spock find themselves as common bed fellows in sick bay. Kirk and Spock exhibit their bond by mutually making fun of Bones, leading him to yell "Shut up! Shut up!" at both of them. The episode ends with McCoy revealing his ragged teeth with one slightly stained front tooth, smiling (one of the rare points thus far in Star Trek history in which McCoy gives us a smile) over finally getting the last word.

Dorky Love on Distant Planets

TOS: Episode 38: Metamorphosis

The Big Pudding Energy Field of Love Surrounding Her Lover

Our episode begins with Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, Dr. Nimoy and a Star Fleet Assistant Commissioner Hedford, a diplomat in charge of presenting a war, on an away craft. The diplomat has contracted a rare and lethal disease that the Enterprise can cure, if they could just get her to it. En route the shuttle is captured by a never before seen energy cloud in space. Looking remarkably like a mix between pudding and spirograph drawings, the energy cloud diverts the shuttle craft to a distant planet.

Episode Summary
On board the Enterprise, Scotty has been left in charge searching for the missing away team. He reasons, because of absence of wreckage, debris, or energy trail, the shuttle must have been taken away by something. Though there is little evidence for determining where the shuttle could have gone, Scotty is determined to find his crew.

On the planet, the crew are greeted by a 30-something year old man thrilled to see them, and excited by their shuttle craft. Though they are skeptical of his presence in such a far off locale, Kirk finally gives over to their need for assistance and follow the man to his abode. There they discover that the man they have met is Zephram Cochran, the discoverer of warp drive, and the man to make first contact with Vulcans a full 150 years before. How could he seem so young? He recognizes Spock as Vulcan immediately. Finally it is explained that it is the energy field, what Cochran calls "The Companion", that has made Cochran young again. Further, the away team has been brought to Cochran because he was lonely. Kirk and the others are horrified by the idea of being contained without the kind of challenge they are used to. They feel contained, hemmed in, held captive. Meanwhile, Hedford's illness has gotten worse. In only hours she will die. The companion will not save her. Kirk convinces Spock to prepare the shuttle's universal translator so that Kirk can attempt to communicate with the energy field.

Kirk makes contact with the companion. In doing so he realizes the energy field is a female pudding-spirograph form that is in love with Cochran. Hearing that he has been held in affection by an alien lifeform all these years, Cochran runs off in disgust. Inside, we hear Hedford begin to cry. She has been good at her job. But she has never been loved. How can she die with a life like that, she asks? Kirk, Spock, and McCoy are horrified by the contrast between Hedford's need for love, and Cochran's denial of it.

Kirk attempts again to communicate with the companion. He explains to the companion the realities of love, hoping that if the energy cloud loves him, she will him go. Instead, the companion combines with Hedford, who was about to die. Together, they discover the love both longed for. Though he resists at first, Cochran realizes he loves the new Companion-Hedford. She has the beauty of Hedford, with the wealth of sharing and beauty Cochran had shared with the companion for over 150 years.

We discover that in becoming human the companion will die, and that she cannot leave her planet, from which her life emanates. Cochran realizes he is in love with her, and will not leave the planet that had before seemed like a prison to him. Oh the power of the beautiful female form. It turns out it is all it takes for a man to give up the freedom of the entire universe. The immortality that he had previously celebrated thanks to the companion he can no longer have. In becoming human she has lost her powers. In having this pointed out to him by Spock, Cochran responds, "Men and women have been growing old together for thousands of years. I have a feeling it's one of the more pleasant things about being human--growing old together."

Ah the mighty power of heterosexist pre-determined love fests! Good ol' Star Trek. Way to stick to your heteronormative guns! Though this episode is ridiculously naive in its conception of pseudo progressive straight love (note: the writers are clearly trying to be open minded by having multi-alien love, they're still being totally conservative in their idea that two members of a relationship simply need to be male and female to fall in love), I appreciate getting to see Cochrane, and to visit that piece of Star Trek history.

As Kirk, McCoy, and Spock walk away, leaving diplomat Hedford behind morphed with the jello swirly energy field of love, Cochran calls after Kirk. "Don't tell them about me, Cochran. Don't tell them about me."

Episode Quotations
"I'm in command, Bones. That makes it my fault." --Kirk

"Maybe you're a soldier so often, you also forget that you're a diplomat. Why don't you try a cherub instead of a stick." --Bones to Kirk. Amen, Bones, Amen.

Pin Ball Picard

Traveling through LaGrande, Oregon, Denise was lucky enough to come upon a still intact, and operating pinball machine. But not just any pinball wizard could play this machine. It's a Star Trek: The Next Generation Machine full of all the necessary love and passion for the series. Though pinball machines aren't a common find anymore, apparently this starship game machine is still in excellent condition. Thanks for sending the pics, Denise! I'm so happy to share them!

Captain Knight Jean-Luc Picard

In appropriate celebration for a new year, Queen Elizabeth has once again laid the sword upon the shoulders of the best men of Britain, thereby awarding them knighthood. The difference this year is that our beloved Patrick Stewart is among them.

Oh, Sir Jean-Luc. I love you. Congratulations!

Leonary Nimoy Photography

In case you want to see what our beloved Spock has been up to lately: Leonard Nimoy has a web page of his own photography. Check it out!

http://www.leonardnimoyphotography.com/images/1/photo2.jpg

So Good

Dear Spock,

Um... Hot.

Love,
Elaine

Sexy Androids and Absurdity

TOS: Episode 37: I, Mudd

A new officer is aboard the Enterprise. The new man bothers Bones, who isn’t afraid to express his intuitions to Spock. Something is odd, however, as we quickly find the new officer enforcing an unplanned course change upon the Enterprise. It appears that the insufficiently argued views of McCoy that Spock so determinedly revolted against were right. Now, the Enterprise has been taken over, and it seems the figure is too powerful for anyone (so far) to overcome.

Androids in Space!

Episode Summary
Our new, mysterious crewmember has completely taken over control of the galaxy class starship, sabotaging each of the alternate control posts throughout the ship. He then reports to the bridge, informing Captain Kirk that they mean the crew no harm, but need the use of the Enterprise. It is revealed that the new crewmember is not human after all, but instead is a highly sophisticated android that speaks of himself in the plural, and is programmed to fulfill some mission, which includes taking Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Chekov, and Uhura to the surface of the planet on which his programmers originate. Unable to do anything to change the situation, Kirk agrees to travel to the planet below. There more androids (all basically identical women), as well as the space pirate we met in season 1—Harry Mudd—greet the away team. It turns out Mr. Mudd, according to his own account, is in complete control of the entire planet, thanks to the help of over 500 of his powerful androids.

We hear from Mudd that the crew had better begin to enjoy themselves, and that they should expect to spend the rest of their lives on the planet. Finally, Mudd confesses that he’d been arrested after being left behind on the mining planet we placed him on in season 1, and then, very slowly works his way to explaining why the Enterprise crew is there. It turns out the androids serve and study Mudd, and demanded Mudd bring more humans for the androids study and serve

Episode 37 seems written as an odd sort of study of a character that wasn’t all that interesting to begin with. We discover more of Mudd’s personal narrative in this episode--mainly that of his former relationship to a wife that antagonized him incessently. But, perhaps more interestingly, we get to consider the reality of a world lived on and dominated by androids that have lost their makers and so also their purpose. Season 1 offered us a view of androids on a far away planet, but those androids had rather limited functionality. Those androids also depended on the instruction and programming given to them by their ruler; though in that case, we discover in the end that their ruler is an android too. It seemed in that episode, then, that some androids at least could rule themselves. Here we see a planet that, at least in the beginning, shows all androids that appear to be entirely devoted to one human ruler—Mudd.

As we get to know the android race better, we discover they are so sophisticated they are able to fulfill any wish the crew would ask for, whether it be Chekov’s need for amorous attention, Scotty’s desire to further laser engineering, McCoy’s thirst for research, or Uhura’s suddenly revealed desire for immortality. Step by step we see the crew become vulnerable to the limitless fulfillment of their desires. Kirk demands of them to contain their enthusiasm—they are going to get off that planet. They are going to escape.

Okay, can we just acknowledge that the Mudd character isn’t actually interesting, nor is he much of plot driver? We see him again in the third season when Mudd famously introduces us to the Tribbles. The upside of that episode is, of course, our opportunity to engage with the Klingons. Honestly though, I’ll have to put some thought into what would have the Star Trek writers return again and again to this character. We meet Mr. Mudd in the first season when he arrives aboard the Enterprise with three beautiful women that bewilder the entire crew with their alluring powers. There it turns out Mudd has enchanted them with a sort of super herb that heightens their feminine advantages. Mudd, then, we realize is a trickster, as well as a covert businessman trying to trick those vulnerable to his wares into purchase. Roddenberry developed the character originally. Though, again, it seems that in each episode that Mudd appears it is less for what he as himself has to offer and more for what he happens to bring along with him. In other words, the same issues could be explored in each of the episodes in which he appears without the introduction of Mr. Mudd himself. In the current episode, however, we hear Kirk pronounce Mudd as the paradigmatic example of a failure of a human being. Perhaps, then, this is the point for Roddenberry--to highlight the contrast between his exemplary star traveling crew, and this trickster. We can also recall the time period in which The Original Series was developed, as well as the way it was originally marketed. Fantasy dominated the television airwaves through not only with Star Trek, but also through shows like I Dream of Jeannie, and most predominately, the Cowboy-Western drama. Common to any Cowboy episode is a kind of patsy that isn't strong enough to fight off enemies through force, isn't brave enough to stare down those that would do him in, isn't hard working or clever enough to become rich by conventional means, but somehow gets by and gets an almost-break again and again through his irreverent, illegal, and usurious behavior. Mudd is Roddenberry's necessary patsy-cowboy--the one that will never be a person to admire, but that reminds us there are many paths to choose for survival. Mudd, then, serves as a kind of moral question for his viewers--how will you choose to catch a break in your life?

The androids here are a nice topic for exploration, though it is, of course, problematic that all androids are exact replicas of apparently beautiful women. We get further adoration of mechanized technologies when Kirk recites the line, “No! She [the Enterprise] is a beautiful lady, and we want her!” as he demands of the androids to return his ship. Returning to consideration of the androids in this episode, they, supposedly, are run entirely by logic, and systematic programming. They are meant to be without wants and desires, but the androids also obsessively pursue their human subjects of study, and they seem to also need to be fulfilled by studying and caring, both, for those subjects. In these ways it would seem they do have some form of needs and desires, though perhaps the crucial point is they do not control them in the way humans would seem to at least have the potential to control theirs.

I’ve also decided, as a side note, that Uhura is an early model for what becomes X-Men’s character Storm. Uhura originates in the southern reaches of Africa, speaking Swahili occasionally through the series. Storm holds Wakandan citizenship, that is in the fictional African country treated as a mystical, other-worldly type area of the planet by the X-Men series. Uhura's fictional origination is placed in a different part of Africa, but the point of placing her there is the same--she comes from a mystical, other-worldly area of the world and now, just like Storm, has become part of the Western fantastic elite. For Storm, such power is exhibited as a goddess and superhero. For Uhura, it is exhibited by being an integral part of the front-line in space travel, exhibiting super-human abilities for communication and language acquisition. In Episode 37, the immortality that Uhura desires, and the way in which it is offered to her, has mild resemblances to Storm’s ascension to god-hood. Of course, thanks to Kirk’s heavy hand, Uhura resists taking the same offering herself. She does not truly need it, afterall, with her already holding the ability for space travel.

As the episode continues, the androids demand that humans are too imperfect to manage themselves. As a result, they intend to take over all of humanity, via the transportation ability the Enterprise offers them. They will reproduce themselves and control humans, while fulfilling what they logically determine to be the reasonable desires of humans too. Now, Mudd is stuck on the planet with the Enterprise crew too. The androids refuse to allow him to leave with the ship, as originally expected. As Spock and Kirk reason through the possible ways to deal with the situation, they realize all the androids are actually run through the initial android that appeared aboard the Enterprise—the one that McCoy was skeptical of. With this in mind, the crew decides the best way to deal with the situation is to overwhelm their computer circuits with absurdity. Ah, here is the gem of this episode—the officers of the Enterprise all devolve into over done, and nonsensical behavior contradicting themselves intentionally, play fighting with each other, imitating ball room style dancing, and even engaging in a game of baseball with imaginary explosives.

Episode Tidbits
“I, Mudd” offers us the opportunity to explore the psyche of Spock through comparison to those that are more extreme than he. On the one side, we regularly see Spock in contrast to his human companions—those that he is unlike because he is more logical, or reasonable than he is. On the other side, now we have the opportunity to discover Spock’s contrast to beings more logical than he. What we discover is that Spock’s logic is balanced with intuition. In this way, when the human officers begin to act in their absurdity and explicit irrationality, it turns out the androids depend on Spock to interpret and make sense of the situation. Spock resembles the very skills the androids hold—logic and reason—but also has an additional ability the androids do not —intuition and spontaneous interpretation of situations. In the end, without this additional interpretive ability, the androids are outdone.

Sexy Magicians and the Cold War

TOS: Episode 36: Catspaw

As the episode opens, Scott and Sulu are on away mission but missing. One away team member, Jackson, repeatedly notifies that he is ready to beam up, without response to the Captain’s inquiry on the whereabouts of Scott and Sulu. Upon arrival in the transporter room, however, Jackson is standing but immediately falls over—dead. McCoy informs Kirk of the surprise death, and then a dramatic voice over erupts through the ship notifying Kirk that a curse has been placed on all of them, and that if the Enterprise does not leave, they will all die. What of Scott and Sulu? What of Jackson’s condition? Who is this menacing, over-acting voice from space? These are the questions facing the Starship Enterprise in this episode “Catspaw.”

Kirk and Spock meeting the magicians of "Catspaw"

Episode Summary
In response to the curse, and death of crewmember Jackson, the three leading officers of the ship beam down to the death-demanding planet. Wise move? No. But plot-driving risky maneuver? Oh, yes! Spock, my love, McCoy, and Kirk wander through the fog covered, gray and barren planet’s surface in search of their missing team. They head in the direction of life form readings picked up by Spock’s trusty tricorder. Strangely, back on board the Enterprise, the officer left in charge of the ship is one we have never seen before, and Chekov has impressively puffy hair. Shortly after arrival, the away team loses contact with the ship, and the officer in charge of the Enterprise reveals his strong ethical-disregard and lack of respect for others by shit-talking poor, loveable Chekov.

The planet’s surface is covered with vicious moaning reminiscent of Ancient Greek Fates—three wailing and strangely illuminated female-looking figures of decayed age chanting warnings of the future to the away team. Spock notifies us that the figures are unreal, as well as full of “very bad poetry.” Ah, Spock. I admire your frankness and accuracy.

The away team ventures on to chase down the “erratic, confused, but definitely real” life forms wandering about only several hundred meters away from them. It’s appreciable that the future relies on the metric system, even while having been written in the midst of the United States’s reliance on the English system. Chasing down the life form readings brings our officers to an eerie gothic-style castle— way to mix literary time periods, Star Trek writers. Let’s see what they do with so many historical allusions at their disposal in one episode!

We discover that, though the Enterprise had initially been able to scan our away team’s life forms on the planet below, upon entering the castle the life form readings simply disappear. Somehow, it would seem, the castle is able to block out the ship’s scanners. Inside the castle, the team is lead into a trap by a black cat that seems to have more awareness than a simple earthen feline. The trap places our three officers locked up in chain shackles within a dungeon next to locked up skeletons too. Kirk and McCoy begin to appreciate the strangeness of Halloween-like earth manifestations. Spock finally theorizes that someone has generated the appearances of those things that terrorize man most at an instinctive level. It is at this moment that Scott and Sulu appear, but in some sort of automaton fashion, unable to respond to the orders of their captain, instead physically demanding the Captain to do their will.

As horrible as this may be to die hard Original Series fans, it’s a bit of a relief to see Scott and Sulu over-under-act for once, rather than push their very specific caricatures too hard through this episode as well (that is, only over-act as they usually do). They are, after all, rather heavily designed character types; what, Scotty with his heavily “Scottish” play, and Sulu with his thickly serious-cum-laughing demeanor.

Scott and Sulu finally appear to our crew, release them from their chains, and then transport them, suddenly, to a sort of ruling chamber containing our black cat, and its apparent wizard. Whatever the source of our magician, he admits to not originating on the planet itself. He also shows us that he knows our away team officers far to well, and that he is somehow able to control Scott and Sulu, as well as communicate telepathically with his cat. It is in these moments when he also informs us that Spock is a “different one” whose thought is simply black and white, unlike the humans, who “see in color.” I must admit I am disappointed at the over simplification of Spock’s character here. Surely logic does not reduce to mere “black and white” thinking, nor does Spock’s virtue reduce to such obviousness either. Spock though, being the selfless, noble science officer that he is, is not insulted. Shortly after we hear that the illusionist actually admires our officers—seeing them as having fulfilled the tests of Aristotelian virtue such as bravery, loyalty, and clarity. Frustrated with his inability to bribe the away team, we see the wizard’s cat leave, and a seductive woman with hypnotic and telepathic powers return. The woman reveals that she controls our crewmembers, the ship itself, and their fate with her thoughts. Amazingly, by holding a model of the Enterprise over a candle she is able to raise the temperature of the ship itself. Thus, Kirk relents in his roguish demeanor enough to prevent the threat to his ship, but resists in revealing any information to the pair. It turns out the two demand to know things about the human world, in exchange for the safety of the ship itself.

McCoy is kept for the purposes of mind-probing interrogation, while Spock and Kirk are sent back to the dungeon. There the two begin to piece together the reality of the situation—aliens to our galaxy probing the human mind for knowledge of our scientific method. Obviously. Soon McCoy returns clearly hypnotized and under the control of the magicians. Kirk is unchained and led away by a semi-violent Bones. In the meantime, we see the magical pair conversing unobserved by the Enterprise crewmembers. We discover that the illusionists had traveled from a far away place (check!) sent on a mission (scientific method?) for what we do not know (oh. Heck.). But in the world and bodies with which they originate, they have no physical or emotional sensations. Now, having experienced desire and pleasure for the first time, the woman has become unwilling to give them up. As such, she is determined to forgo their mission and dominate the earth creatures. The man, however, is still loyal to their original plan and seems disturbed by her new demeanor.

As Kirk enters, the male magician leaves, and the woman reveals to Kirk that she desires him, and power too. Seeing an opportunity for escape, Kirk takes advantage of the woman’s weakness for physical sensation to overcome her control of them all. Kirk discovers she will not dominate him, because what she wants is free, willing union with Kirk. Though she’d never considered it before, now the woman realizes she wants to share power with another being. Together, she believes, she and Kirk can have all either of them desire. But for this to happen, he must want such power too. She offers to become any physically shaped woman he wants, and to help him experience the power of transmutation with her.

Oh, Kirk, you overdrawn sex-driven star traveler. You have finally stepped into the Kirk character we all remember. The one that travels the stars taking alien women freely for his own needs and purposes. The sexual drive that we all remember as integral to Kirk has only been loosely present until now. We've seen glimpses of what would develop into a central character trait for him, but now a third of the way through the second season it seems the Star Trek writers have begun to recognize the shape it offers to their Captain. It is here, then, that part of the ethic of the Star Trek universe takes hold. Kirk’s sexual prowess is all about conquering. He uses his sexual interest, and apparent attractiveness to overcome those he wants, and to take control of the worlds he explores. It is a power, not for union, as our female magician would want, then. Instead, it is a power to take and to dominate something. As such, Kirk's sexuality turns out to be about perceiving the entirety of the universe as a form of enemy that must be overcome before he is overcome by it. The whole world, then, operates as a kind of enemy to Kirk's autonomy. This understanding of Kirk’s sexuality would indicate, then, that not only is the world his enemy, but also all women. That is, sex is a means to dominate others, specifically women, rather than to share or convene with them.

We discover, then, at this point in Star Trek history that the implicit view of other civilizations, those alien to the world central to Star Fleet, is one of threat. That is, other civilizations are to be overcome, and sex too is about domination of that which is not as powerful as us. Kirk, and his sexual prowess prove to be for the sake of assuring our greater agility and ability than all others. This view of sexuality as power is congruent with the semi-isolated, solely responsible role that Kirk has exhibited as all-powerful ship’s Captain through the series so far. That is, sex turns out to be a means to proving ones own isolation. Because sex for Kirk is not about uniting with another, but instead about proving dominance over another, sex turns out to be yet another means through which Kirk keeps himself isolated from all others. Spock, of course, ultimately proves to be the one other character that Kirk is more genuinely open to, or in a sense united with. As I’ve claimed before, Kirk can only be who he is because of his reliance on Spock’s steady countenance and advice. This, of course, proves to be Kirk’s one vulnerable feature as we see later at the end of the second Star Trek movie.

Returning to "Catspaw", stimulating the sensations of the woman illusionist, Kirk upsets her as she realizes he is merely using her for the sake of escape. The male magician sees that his counterpart is now out of control and so sets Kirk and Spock free, as well as the Enterprise, in an attempt to do what is right even in the face of his irrational, now-turned-evil partner. Kirk refuses to leave without McCoy, Scott and Sulu, however. As a result, they are forced to face her ruthlessness. The man alien continues to help them escape, as they also search for both a way out, and their crew members. The man says he will face his evil partner. In saving Kirk and Scott, however, the man dies, leaving his magic wand for Kirk to try. It turns out to be the source of their power, a mighty transmuter. In escaping the dungeon, Kirk and Spock are forced to face the fighting abilities of their hypnotized ship’s mates. Impressively, then, this episode places all of the major officers under the threat of an alien life form on the surface of a distant planet.

The woman now tries to seduce Kirk again. Instead, he destroys the transmuter, causing the illusion to disappear. The true forms of the alien life forms then appear just in time for us to watch them die. We are shown a pair of blue feathered, carrot-legged muppet that release smoke as they die.

Our alien magicians in their true form at the end of "Catspaw"

More Episode Tidbits
Early Star Trek, unfortunately, reveals the callous self-investment that drives what would otherwise appear to be a noble mission—to learn and communicate with new life forms in far away places. In our own human story, there is a history of admiring and prioritizing the pursuit of knowledge, and its accompanying self-discovery. But, Star Trek: The Original Series ends up showcasing the way in which the pursuit of knowledge is not adequate to virtue. As much as I love Spock, I realize that much of his brightness comes from how he stands out as good against the brazenness of the Kirk driven Star Trek plots. We've seen this kind of highlighting effect around Spock in previous episodes--most especially the parallel "evil" universe episode from earlier in the second season when Spock shows himself to be a noble character in either universe.

Kirk is able to be the arrogant, risk taking captain that he is because he is anchored by the reasonable, thoughtful Spock. But as the focus of the show, Kirk drives the ethical tone of the plots even so. This particular episode highlights the way in which Star Trek ends up being a lenses through which we can see our own cultures self-centered arrogance. We apparently use our great technology to travel the stars in search of new life forms and new civilizations. But, here, it would seem that we actually do so for the sake of proving our own dominance. And where our technology falls short, we prove our superiority through forceful acting out that happens to succeed in the face of hopeless odds. We are the lucky ones, Kirk tells us. We are the ones that travel the stars because we have earned our place among them.

In later Star Trek, of course, we will see a world of space travel modified by other ethical precepts of non-interference, and egalitarian diplomacy. If our television shows can operate as a revelation of our own cultural ethic, surely, then, Star Trek reveals an improvement of our own ethical way of life in the United States too. That is, The Next Generation would seem to show ways in which we have transcended our own self-centered view of dominance. The Original Series was, afterall, written during the thickest parts of the Cold War, when ideas of war dominance and the ethos of international superpowers drove our politic. The Next Generation, however, came at a time when the Cold War was ending, the Berlin Wall was coming down, and we were looking, hopeful, towards a future in which perhaps the powers of the world would appear more united. We can ask what has changed for us in our national imagination in the 20 years since. I look forward, then, to making our way to the most recent movie and asking how a return to the characters of The Original Series, with an utterly transformed timeline, might reveal the ways we’ve grown.